There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother (1 John 4:20) as He says in His Word: all the Law and the Prophets depend on two commandments;
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13: 8
Speak kind Words
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing, but the heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. James 3: 6 – 10 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but gracious words are pure. Proverbs 16: 23,24
Set an Example
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5: 16
Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. Peter2: 11
It’s with a heavy heart that I write you this note, knowing the amount of pain it is going to cause you.
Mum, I want you to know that I love you dearly and will ever love you. If I am given the opportunity to live again I will still choose you as my mum and our family will still be my place of birth.
But unfortunately, I know that there is not going to be any such opportunity.
Mum, I didn’t want to do this, but I was compelled by circumstances beyond my control to take the plunge.
I tried my best to pull through, but my best was not good enough. I battled alone for about thirteen months now until my strength failed me.
You and dad could not decipher what I was going through and maybe I should not blame you for that.
My one and only brother came very close to understanding what I was passing through but it was too much for his young mind to comprehend.
Mum, I know that you and dad loved me and did everything you could to prove that to me but I was not feeling loved.
You provided for me more than I even wanted, took me to places that most of my mates have not even heard of, yet despite all these my heart was longing for love.
I needed someone who would love me for who I was. I needed someone who could reach to the depth of my soul and feel the vacuum there.
The material provisions you spoiled me with could not do that. And I was alone all the while, despite the fact that we laughed together and had gist as a family.
Then came the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
Your brother, Uncle Tony who came to live with us, made me to believe that he knew exactly what my soul was longing for – companionship.
He chose to stay with me when you and dad were too busy to notice my loneliness.
He tried to keep me company when I needed someone to talk to but had only gadgets and teddy bears as my company. I was fooled to trust him and he hacked into my foolishness. And he did it perfectly and deeply.
Mum, your brother raped me and used me as sex toy for three whole years. I expected you or dad to notice but none of you did.
When he left our house last year I was shattered because I have grown to fill the void of your presence with his dirty deeds. I couldn’t complain because I was afraid to lose him, but when he eventually left for Canada the magnitude of the emptiness in me became too heavy for me to carry.
I struggled to forget those experiences but I could not. My grades dropped in school and you and dad quickly arranged for a home lesson teacher.
Mum, that singular act instead of helping me fueled what is about to happen to me a few minutes from now.
The home lesson teacher you brought so much reminded me of Uncle Tony and, on several occasions, I felt like grabbing him and making him to fill the gap that Tony’s absence created in me.
Mum, I had to do this because I was lonely. Did you ever imagine what I was doing in my room all the time I stayed there alone? Couldn’t you for once have gone out of your way to just spend some time with me so that we could talk?
There are many things I would have liked to tell you but I don’t want to add to your pain so let those other torments be buried with this undignified body of mine.
Please make sure that my brother David doesn’t get to the point where I am now.
Also, tell your friends and colleagues who have children to find out what is happening with their beloved kids before it gets too late.
Many of the things parents do in the name of showing love are not what we the younger ones need.
I would have gone, long hours before you will get to read this note.
But one cheering thing is that David is still there with you. Transfer the love you had for me to him.
My bank details and the passwords to my phones and laptops are all in the piece of paper I dropped in the drawer of your dressing table.
I miss you and it pains to empty the content of this bottle in my hand into my mouth but I am constrained to do it all the same.
Tell dad and David that I love them. Tell our pastor that I will miss his sermons and long prayers. Tell my friends not to envy me.
That was the suicide note a 15-year old girl dropped for her mother before taking her life.
You may save someone’s life if you pass this story to all contacts in your phone.
1. Parents, do you find yourself to be “too” busy and tired to be in the present moment with your children? Are you more invested in your job and house duties than spending time with your kids?
Lo2. Let your child know they are loved for who they are, and that you are always there to support them.
3. For the past few weeks, the social media has been awashed with many suicide stories on the pages of the media. Many more may still come.
4. Be a supportive parent and actively listen without judgment and seeking to understand their concerns and challenges. Being a supportive parent means having your child’s best interests at heart but also being present, involved and helpful.
5. Treat your child fairly and develop a trusting relationship.
6. Always acknowledge your child’s achievements and supporting them through mistakes and challenges.
7. Parents, let’s ALWAYS be there for our children in the way that we would have wanted our parents to be there for us.
How do God speak to us?
God speak to us through His Word, through His Word. His Word is the word, or what we call the Bible. When the Word of God (Jesus) said in Matthew 4 verse 4, “Man shall not live of bread alone, but by every word that proceed out of the mouth of God”, what did He mean? It can be surmised that He was speaking about the person in different dimensions. A person can be split up in three parts, Mind, Body and Soul – when He touched on the topic, He touched on all three dimensions; the Mind, Body and the Soul.
Let’s Have a look at the Body
He spoke about the needs of the body, He mentions that the person (Man) are not to survive on the feeding of the body, the fleshly person alone. He acknowledges that the human being needs food to keep the physical body alive, but it does not end there…
Now for the Mind
Every word that proceed… for a word to proceed out of the mouth, one must hear and for one to hear and understand, one must think. In order to understand what you thinking / hearing / reading (the Word of God), the information must go through the mind of the person spoken about.
…as it enters the Soul
God uses His Spirit, His Holy Spirit to speak to our Souls. We thus need to allow our body to permit our minds to read (hear), understand (think) when Our God is speaking to us through His Word. 1 Corinthians 2 verses 9,10 says…it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.
Bottom Line is…
The Word of God is very important for our growth in Christ, for our maturity in Christ, our Saviour.
Remember in the beginning, we spoke of the body and its needs, John takes it to the extreme by saying “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.”
The name of the game is allegedly derived from the fact that blue whales often beach themselves, thus committing suicide.
via Wait on the Lord
*Update (as at 27 November 2017): Subsequent to the filing of the application for leave to appeal with the Supreme Court of Appeal (SCA) in Bloemfontein, the SCA advised that the application should be referred directly to the Constitutional Court. In the circumstances, FOR SA will shortly be filing our application with the Constitutional Court instead.
As you may be aware, the High Court of Johannesburg recently delivered a judgment which abolished the historic defense of “reasonable and moderate chastisement”. This has been used by parents for generations as a defense against an assault charge for (reasonably and moderately) disciplining their child/ren. Please note that this was never a defense to violence and abuse against child/ren, which is clearly a criminal matter where the State has a duty to intervene.
There is an obvious and fundamental difference, however, between moderate chastisement by a parent motivated by love and in the best interest of their child/ren on the one hand, and physical violence or abuse on the other hand.
Following this judgment, there has been a massive public outcry – not only from religious parents, but also from non-religious parents whose parental rights and authority have now been significantly diminished.
FOR SA, who was initially invited by the Court to be a “Friend of the Court” in the matter, is the only party left in the case with the opportunity to appeal this judgment. After careful consideration and the unanimous approval of our leadership team (Michael Cassidy (AE); Moss Ntlha (TEASA); Barry Isaacs (CCC) and Andrew Selley (JoshGen/Four12), we believe it necessary to pursue this legal recourse and have subsequently filed for leave to appeal. We have been advised that this appeal will be directly to the Constitution Court.
Note: FOR SA’s appeal only relates to the constitutional issue considered by the Court [i.e.] whether reasonable and moderate chastisement is congruent with the Constitution. The appeal specifically does not concern the merits of whether the father’s appeal against his conviction by the Magistrate’s Court on charges of common assault should be upheld.
The judgment circumvents the normal legislative process, which is especially important to follow since this decision affects so many citizens. While High Courts have a constitutional obligation to develop the common law in line with our Constitution, FOR SA’s concern is that the judgment is an over-reach and effectively usurps the power of Parliament, which has the primary responsibility of law reform. In this regard, we point out that when deliberating the Children’s Act in 2005, Parliament, as the democratically elected representatives of the people of South Africa, made a deliberate and considered decision to retain the right of parents to reasonably and moderately chastise their children as part of SA law. However, in this case and with a stroke of a pen, two judges have now effectively overruled Parliament’s decision and circumvented the legislative process.
Freedom of religion, which is granted to all South Africans by section 15 of our Constitution, is doctrinally neutral. It is given to protect the right of every citizen to believe and to live out their faith, before God and in obedience to the law of the land – without fear of persecution or retribution.
Christian parents in particular differ in their interpretation of the Scriptures (most of which are found in the Book of Proverbs) which focus on the discipline of children by their parents. Some parents, over centuries, have believed that these Scriptures instruct (or at the very least, permit) moderate and reasonable physical chastisement, usually as a last resort but nevertheless as part of their responsibility to raise their children. Others interpret this as using other forms of discipline to encourage obedience and “good behaviour” from their children.
A concerning element of this case is that two judges of a provincial division of the High Court have now effectively ruled, for the whole of South Africa, that “it is permissible to require religious parents who believe in corporal punishment to be expected to obey the secular laws, rather than permitting them to place their religious beliefs above [what in the view of the Judge is] the best interests of their children.”
An interpretation of Scripture which is held by many has therefore been declared invalid and if parents continue to follow their conscience, they will now be committing a crime. This sets an unfortunate and potentially dangerous precedent since religious rights have been curtailed and limited by the judgment.
While children most certainly have constitutional rights and these rights must be protected, there is a clear recognition in law that a child does NOT have equal rights to an adult in all circumstances – hence the age of consent for sexual activity, the age of voting, laws against drinking and smoking before a certain age, etc. This case has set a precedent where children’s rights have trumped parental and religious rights and this may be extended in future to other areas. For example, in the context of transgender issues, it is quite foreseeable that this case will be used as authority to insist that parental caution and concern be overruled in favour of a young child’s desire for hormone suppressant treatment and/or gender reassignment surgery.
FOR SA is not for, or against, spanking – but we do support the rights of parents to decide for themselves, according to their moral or religious convictions, how to discipline their child/ren. For many parents, reasonable and moderate spanking – at times, where needed, always in love – is ONE of the methods which is used to raise responsible children who know the difference between right and wrong, but not the only method that parents should employ. We are in favour of more “training tools”, not fewer.
Given that the latest statistics show that over 30 million South Africans live on less that R1,000 per month and in small (often over-crowded) accommodation, there may be no (or very few) alternatives to reasonable and moderate chastisement for parents in these communities. There may well be no “naughty corner” in a rural dwelling, and what “privileges” do you take away from children who have none?
There is a large body of credible social science that shows that mild corporal punishment is not harmful for children, and may even be beneficial. This was ignored by the Court, who made a decision that any form of chastisement in all circumstances – regardless of how light, or well-intended – to be detrimental and harmful to children. As such, any parent who uses any form of physical chastisement or restraint on their child, can be charged with the criminal offence of assault, with the following consequences – which may well not be in the best interests of the child:
It is interesting to note the results from recent surveys in New Zealand, where the “reasonable and moderate chastisement” defense was removed from parents in 2007. These surveys found that:
Support FOR SA
Freedom of Religion South Africa (FOR SA) is dedicated to protecting and preserving the freedoms and rights that the South African Constitution has granted to the faith community. You can help FOR SA protect our freedom by:
CAPE TOWN – Idols South Africa winner Paxton Fielies says that she’s now setting her sights on building her singing career.
The Capetonian was crowned the winner of 13 season on Sunday in Johannesburg.
Cape Town teenager Paxton Fielies bagged the most votes to become one of the youngest winners of Idols SA 2017.
The petite 17-year-old won the title at a spectacular finale at Carnival City in Johannesburg on Sunday evening.
Fielies received the majority of the viewers’ votes when she and Mthokozisi Ndaba‚ 25‚ from KwaMashu in Durban‚ made the final two after months of battle against thousands of contestants.
On Sunday‚ accompanied by the multi award-winning Soweto Gospel Choir‚ Fielies performed Stand Up for Love by Destiny’s Child and Ndaba sang R. Kelly’s The Storm Is Over. They also collaborated on a remix of Back To The Beach by Kyle Deutsch and Shekinah.
An excited Fielies‚ who sacrificed her Grade 11 year‚ said she had decided with the support of her mother that 2017 would be a risk-taker year.
“It was a risk worth taking. But I intend completing my studies while doing gigs and shows. My goal is to make it internationally.
“The highlight apart from winning Idols was performing on my birthday during the season‚” said Fielies.
Fielies said she knows people appreciate her talent and will continue to support her.
She said every week was a difficult week as you didn’t know who was going home‚ on top of learning a new song.
“But here I am because I worked very hard to be where I am. I celebrated every performance knowing how hard I worked. I did receive criticism sometimes but I didn’t let it get me down.”
Fielies will begin recording her album in January.
The teen thanked her family and fans for supporting her journey.
“In my community there’s a lot of gangsterism and there’s a lot going on. For them to just gather, for just one day, is amazing. It shows the support is still there. It shows they support youngsters. I would like to thank everyone who gathered to watch the show.”