Foreword
In the times of the present, and the movement of the atmospheres, and all kinds of excuses people can think of, marriages ends up in divorce courts. Without even trying to stand by the vows that they have sworn in front of family, friends and love ones, some just allow the divorce rate to boom like the pricing of houses, food, clothes, etc. Is there anything we can do about this? We have to seriously take our vows into consideration, not to talk about what it does to the future of this world, our children.
1 Ask the Lord for guidance
2 Don’t argue in front of children
3 Agree to disagree
4 Do not go to bed angry
5 Agree not to ignore each other
6 Don’t bear grudges
7 Tell your partner how you feel
Always ask the Lord for guidance.
If we know the biblical story of the promise that the devil made to God, we will also know that things won’t always be easy. Based on the promise that were made to the Lord by the devil, that he will be there to break up all good work where God has been building, all relationships, no matter what kind it is, will always turn out to have a rough patch one day or another, but it is advised to always pray to the almighty to solve the differences.
Being it a relationship between two children, mother and child, or a marriage; it will be going through a rough time, and a person can almost say that it is inevitable that something like an argument, a disagreement, or a “word exchange” will take place. All of this is actually normal, but if not monitored, it can turn out real bad, but all the participating partners should be aware of why, what, how.
Why we are actually having or experiencing the current state of affairs, is it really required to go through this situation, or is there a different way of managing the condition?
What is it we are going through, what caused this situation to take place, what are we achieving by allowing this to carry on?
How far to we go, how is this going to end, how do we stop this, how do we handle the situation after this, how will we face each other, how this affect our relationship, how do we avoid this on another occasion? A lot of questions might be asked, or might be on search for, but there is actually one true answer to this only. Many people fail to look into this direction for an answer, either for the reason that they do not have faith in the higher power or because they do not know that this could be the answer to there long lasting problem. It is actually a matter of trusting each other and allowing Him to be in control, no don’t get me wrong when I say Him, Him referring to God, the almighty, one of the most significant things to do , is to constantly ask God for direction.
Do not argue in front of children
It has been noticed that many parents creates fear and disrespect within their children without taking note of what they do. In many instances, moms and dads have their little arguments or rather disagreements and it gets all rough right in front of the little ones. The end result of this cannot be good, as children tend to remember things quite well and it always plays a role in their decision making and developing patterns. Parents should be aware of what and how they say things in front of their little ones. Let’s take for example, the mom comes up with a suggestion, dad doesn’t not agree with the suggestion, instead of staying calm and collective, he explodes in front of the children, children will grow up thinking it is normal for them to always have disrespect towards their mother, depending on who is the person being taken for granted in the situation. The same applies when decision are to be made about something that have a direct affect on the children. Let’s say a child want to go to a friend and goes to his mother for permission, mom says no, and the child is very upset and goes to dad to get permission for this very same thing. It is always good to agree on things like this, or where uncertainty is present on the decision made by one parent, it is better to consult with your partner, as this might end up in the two parents in disagreement, and gives the child a escape.
The regulation that applies at this time is that you do not argue in front of children and be in agreement on judgment with reference to offspring.
Agree to disagree on some issues
The end result of an argument can be devastating and we know that arguments do leave scars that can be very difficult to forget or to live with. A person can forget about physical abuse which has taken place, but when being abused mentally, it leaves scars, which are too difficult for certain people to forgive, as the saying goes, “stick and stones may break my bones…” this is exactly opposite to reality.
Sometimes arguments can carry on for hours, days, even months, in cases like this I would be so much healthier, better and more vital to rather come to an agreement to disagree and live with what you believe and feel, after all it is your opinion. As married people, you are still entitled to your own opinion and as human beings, no two people will always feel the same about every single decision being made or every single situation taking place, and are to be respected for his or her opinion and his or her decision. It is vital though that the decisions being made or the opinions being referred to, is not opinions that can harm or endanger any party of even the marriage if this decision is being made. In situation where the above mentioned are not harmful to any party involved or to the marriage or even the children it is better to agree to disagree.
Do not go to bed angry
The Bible teaches us in Revelation that two people will lie on the bed and when the morning arrives, one will be gone. How would you feel if you wake up one day only to find that your life partner are dead, have deceased, it will be a said story. To make it even worse, we all know that we cannot stop the force of nature, in other words, we simply cannot stop God. When God decides on a thing, it is sure to happen, now how would it feel for a person to have an argument with his or her life partner just before going to bed, imagine how angry they are, neither of them want to humble themselves and apologise, they fall asleep before having to ask for forgiveness, they fall asleep before reconciling. A said story awaits the following day when the one awakes and the other are there no more, one as passed away during his or her sleep. I do not want to think about the feeling of resenting yourselves for the rest of your life, your life is miserable until you cannot take it no more. In many instances, situations like this ends in putting a gun against your head and pulling the trigger, we do not like said endings to stories.
My advice is to make up before you go to bed, live as if you will die now, live as if it is your last minute, and be at peace with everyone. Do not go to bed angry, we do not know what tomorrow holds.
Agree not to ignore each other
Like I have mentioned previously, stick and stones may break my bones, is all but the truth, broken bones can be healed and forgotten very easily, but when hurting a person on an emotional level may cause damage which will stay with that person whether he or she likes it or not.
One way of hurting a person emotionally might be to overlook him or her after having a brawl or even for no reason at all, in my opinion I think, ignoring someone is one of the hardest things to come by, and believe me it is torture. I cannot imagine how a person would be able to live in the same home, sleep in the same bed, ride in the same vehicle, etc and still survive being ignored. To ignore one person for what ever reason might be seen as immature, and can only worsen a situation, and I cannot see how a person can get results, satisfaction from ignoring his/ her partner.
Also when trying to punish a child, please do not choose to ignore the child, whatever you decide on ding, do not decide to ignore your partner for whatsoever explanation, this can only be detrimental for your relationship, no matter what level your relationship is at.
Do not keep an issue in until an argument takes place (don’t bear grudges)
During some quarrels, you’ll hear one or both of the parties accusing one another of things that happened two weeks, a month, some time years ago.
We must really try sometime to be like Jesus, He teaches us in His holy Word that we must forgive and forget. In the book of Corinthians, chapter thirteen, it is said that love do not keep record of all the wrongs, do not bear grudges. Why do human being always pick up a topic after it had been solved way back, why does the old stuff always pops up as the star witness in a case? Why can’t we leave the past where it ought to be, in the past? When solving a problem, it is your duty not only to say that it is fine, but also to make it really fine by forgetting and also totally forgiving him/ her for his/her wrongs.
Bearing grudges can be very dangerous, as some will go to a very far extend, some must be considered as real dangerous. Grudges can cause murders, do not bear grudges, get rid of that feeling, forgive and forget and continue with your lives as normal, do not let all these grudges start to eat on you. Forgive and forget.
Tell your partner how you feel and have discussion around feelings
This topic goes hand in hand with the previous one; it is useless to have a bad feeling about the doings of your partner and not letting him/ her know about how you feel.
You must bear in mind that people are not made to read the minds of one another, partners can on many occasions sense that something is wrong or that the other wants to tell or ask something, but we simply cannot read minds. When having difficulty with what he/ she is doing wrong in your opinion, it is always vital to let this person know how you feel, it is important that we respect the thoughts of our companions around certain things. It is also very dangerous to keep wondering about stuff, in a sense that you could be judging your companion when it is actually not even close to what you have been thinking. Rather get clarity around the subject and get it all out in the clear, it is safe and pure to talk about stuff. Keeping things in, may resulting murders, adultery (simply because you thinking the other party is doing it), etc.
Get it in the clear, talk about stuff; do not keep it to yourself. Tell your partner how you feel and have discussion around feelings.
This is basically a guide to have
a happy marriage, but this
can be applied to
all aspect of life,
think about it and apply
if you are struggling with something.
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